A Gnome and his Binding.

Tale of the Binding – A raider’s perspective

It was our second week within the molten core. Our raid consisted of rusty raiders, afk pugs, and a battle chicken who provided little to no benefit but was at least entertaining. After acquiring every buff known to man, most of the raid was killed in an unfortunate double pull of Lucifron and corehounds. I of course quickly vanished and laughed at the poor souls, only to be later burned alive by Magmadar. Suffice to say, the guild had a lot of work ahead of it. However, with our addiction to Vanilla Wow being at this point incurable, we ventured on wiping again when a molten giant pack pulled half the instance in what can only be described as hard mode molten core. However, if there is one truth about Wow, it is that often times a raid that deserves nothing more than to have their characters deleted is given a reward that is unjustified. I threw up in my mouth when Baron Geddon unloaded his fiery binding into a fucking gnome warrior’s bag.

Of course next week the raid went smoothly, the admins fixed the content and the raid was given great loot which was of course won by pugs. At this point members began to turn on one another, tea bagging corpses and banning all use of the gnomish shrink ray. It was under these conditions that a magical event occurred. With molten core resetting on Wednesday our raid once again prepared to enter the Firelord’s lair hoping beyond hope that our sad performance would be rewarded with yet another binding. The game masters and developers, sensing our overwhelming luck would attempt to stop this apocalyptic event by physically disabling our ability to logon to their server before the reset deadline. However, some of us who at this point can only be described as masochists, decided to stay online in the hopes that the server came back up. I can only assume that one of the developers died and in doing so collapsed upon the server, bringing it back to life. At approximately 10:00 central, we began to assemble the most ragtag bunch of scrubs the server had ever seen. Hoping to kill Garr and Geddon we raced through the instance with more purpose then the guild had ever shown before. With Garr about to die, many were calling for the binding to drop, effectively jinxing any chance for us to receive it. With a last ditch effort a unknown rogue hero declared that the raid had jinxed the boss by putting their greed on display, thereby dispelling the jinx and allowing the second stone binding to drop. At this point the rest of the raid became a blur as people garroted sheep targets and generally played terribly.

Congratulations to Zaelix and his lucky gnomish ass

 

Written by Evan.

 

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